“Love is blind; Lovers cannot see.”
This common phrase is the first justification people present when their relationship is somehow not acceptable or out-of-the-ordinary in the rules of society.
Other people believe that love is not blind, it notices the physical attributes, but it does not mind. In the real essence of love, we usually ignore the downsides of the person and focus more on their goodness or positive values. It is also possible that we tend to develop a superficial love that masks out the real character of that person. It is at times that it becomes hard for us to decipher what we feel and see, and this makes finding true love hard for us.
More Than Meets The Eyes
If love is a feeling, why do we sometimes rely on what we see? Does what we see dictate what we feel? These questions usually popped out of my mind every time I see someone rejected because she is not that physically attractive or someone who got turned down because he does not possess the Adonis-like physique. It may be unkind to say that for some, love is just one of the mainstreams in our society that you can have when it is only convenient.
However, for persons deprived of sight, because they cannot gauge love as ordinary people do, love is more than what meets the eyes. By doing so, they are showing genuine love.
“Trying to figure out how you talk about disability in the initial stages of meeting and dating is complicated,” says Linda Mona, PhD, a psychologist with a disability who practices at the VA Long Beach Healthcare System. “Do you disclose or not disclose? If you disclose, will someone still contact you?
I was able to watch a documentary of a couple who were both blind, and everything about them was amazing and inspiring. From how they met, fell for each other, and how they were able to manage their relationship despite their physical disability. Yes, it cannot be denied that their condition is not natural to live with; the mere fact that they are both visionless makes their everyday living challenging. Nonetheless, they did not let their status paralyze them. They continue to live like healthy people do and experience the right of every person to love and be loved. Their love story only proves that love is more than what the eyes can see – that physical attraction is just an external factor, and what is more important is the sincerity and truthfulness of our feelings.
Such is true. Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, writes, “Unlike romantic love, unconditional love does not seek pleasure or gratification… It’s the total acceptance of someone — a powerful energy emanating from the heart.”
It Is Growing With Love, And Not Falling For It
After watching that documentary, made me realized that true love would help you improve. It will help you become mature, and see people based on who they are, and not just on their physical appearance.
“The cognitive change of gaining additional negative information about the object does not necessarily lead to separation. However, if love is to be sustained, the cognitive change must be accompanied by an evaluative change compensating for the new negative information,” writes Dr. Aaron Ben-Zeev, PhD.
It made me also realized that most of us want to experience falling in love, and we fail to notice the fact that the experience of growing with love is more rewarding, as we teach it within us; a love that is and will always be with us. Once we let love grow within us, no matter what kind of physical defects might come into our life, we are confident that we will never be left out of love.
Finding love out of blindness teaches us that even in the darkness, love remains and sustains; its power knows no qualifications and restrictions. We are privileged to see the world made from love, but the blind couple was also privileged enough to experience love without even looking into each other’s eyes.